Helping a loved one at mealtimes.
When a parent or partner is eating less or has trouble swallowing, mealtimes need extra care. A few simple steps make them safer and more pleasant, for them and for you.
Before the meal.
Well positioned
Sitting up straight, at the table or in an armchair, with feet flat on the floor. In bed, raise the backrest as far as possible.
Somewhere calm
Turn off the television and keep comings and goings to a minimum. Swallowing takes concentration.
Fully awake
Do not offer food to someone who is drowsy. Wait until they are fully awake.
Glasses, hearing aid and dentures
Glasses, hearing aid and dentures in place: seeing well and chewing well make eating easier.
The right texture
Serve the textures recommended by the speech therapist, for food as well as drinks.
Medicines
Do not crush a tablet or open a capsule without asking the pharmacist: some are not suitable for this.
During the meal.
At eye level
Sit facing them or beside them, with your eyes at the same level. If they lift their head to look at you, they swallow less well.
Small mouthfuls
A teaspoon rather than a tablespoon. Wait until their mouth is empty before the next one.
No rushing
Allow time to chew and swallow. Avoid asking them questions while they are swallowing.
Drinking without tipping the head back
A well-filled glass or a cut-out cup (also called a nosey cup) means they don’t have to tip their head back. In that position, food and drink go down the wrong way more easily.
Let them do it
Encourage them to eat on their own, even slowly. Only help with what they can no longer do.
Several small meals
If the meal tires them, offer snacks during the day rather than one big plateful.
Coughing and aspiration.
If they cough while eating or drinking, think of aspiration: a mouthful or a sip has gone into the airways instead of down the oesophagus.
The signs
Coughing or clearing the throat during or just after a mouthful, a wet-sounding voice, watery eyes, meals that take longer and longer. Some aspiration happens without coughing: an unexplained fever or repeated chest infections should also raise the alarm.
If they cough
Stop feeding them and encourage them to cough. Wait until they have got their breath back and their voice is clear again before starting again, more slowly. If they can no longer cough, speak or breathe: call 112.
If it keeps happening
Talk to their doctor. The speech therapist can assess their swallowing and advise on suitable textures. A gelled or thickened drink goes down more slowly and allows time to swallow.
After the meal.
Staying seated
Keep them sitting up straight for at least 30 minutes after the meal.
A clean mouth
Brush their teeth or dentures after every meal. Leftover food that goes down the wrong way can cause a lung infection.
Note down what was eaten
All, half, a quarter? A quick note helps the doctor spot a decline.
Look after yourself too.
You are not alone
The GP, the home nurse, the speech therapist and the dietitian can advise you. Tell them what you find difficult.
Saving time
Nutritional supplements and ready-to-use gelled water make the days easier. Your pharmacist can advise you.
The reminder sheet to put up.
Print it out and keep it in the kitchen: the essential steps at a glance.
At mealtimes
Reminder sheet for helping a loved one to eat and drink.
Before
- Sitting up straight, feet on the floor
- Calm, television off
- Fully awake
- Glasses, hearing aid and dentures in place
- The recommended textures
During
- Sit at their eye level
- Small mouthfuls, teaspoon
- Empty mouth before the next one
- No questions while they swallow
- Well-filled glass, head upright to drink
- No rushing
After
- Seated for 30 minutes
- Teeth or dentures brushed
- Note what was eaten and drunk
If they cough while eating or drinking: think of aspiration. Stop, let them cough and wait until their voice is clear again before starting again. If it keeps happening, talk to the doctor.
If they can no longer cough, speak or breathe: call 112.
Drinks: level
Food:
Doctor:
Speech therapist:
BSNUTRITION · bsnutrition.com · A support document for monitoring. It does not replace the advice of a healthcare professional.
See also.
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The one-minute test, to find out whether you should talk to your doctor.
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Count the chevrons on your supplements. If you are malnourished, the basic guide is 3 chevrons a day.
Malnutrition and cancer
Keep up your strength during treatment, even when your appetite and sense of taste change.
Keeping your muscles as you age
Slow down muscle loss with protein at every meal and a little movement.
Before and after an operation
Be in good shape for surgery and heal more easily, thanks to what you eat.
Pressure sores and wound healing
Dressings protect, nutrition repairs. A simple guide for each stage.
Living with your supplements
Taking them properly, storing them, not getting tired of them and travelling with them.
Drinking well when swallowing is hard
Drinking enough every day without drinks going down the wrong way, with a printable diary.
Need advice?
You don’t have to search alone. Talk to your doctor, your dietitian or your pharmacist. Our team is also happy to answer your questions about our products.
Sources
- Burgos R, et al. ESPEN guideline clinical nutrition in neurology. Clin Nutr. 2018;37(1):354-396. doi:10.1016/j.clnu.2017.09.003
- Volkert D, et al. ESPEN guideline on clinical nutrition and hydration in geriatrics. Clin Nutr. 2019;38(1):10-47. doi:10.1016/j.clnu.2018.05.024
- Yoneyama T, et al. Oral care reduces pneumonia in older patients in nursing homes. J Am Geriatr Soc. 2002;50(3):430-433. doi:10.1046/j.1532-5415.2002.50106.x
- Olasveengen TM, et al. European Resuscitation Council Guidelines 2021: Basic Life Support. Resuscitation. 2021;161:98-114. doi:10.1016/j.resuscitation.2021.02.009
- IDDSI. Complete framework and detailed definitions, version 2.2, harmonised French translation. 2026. Licence CC BY-SA 4.0. Document
Updated: November 2026.
Reviewed by Steeve Roland, physiotherapist, over 20 years in clinical nutrition, founder of BSNUTRITION · Updated on
Publisher: BS NUTRITION SA, Rue de l’Industrie 20, 1400 Nivelles, Belgium. Legal notice